The Unlikeliest Pair
by Censorship is a Cancer
Summary: Of interviews, pranks gone wrong, pure and seething hatred, crazed pets, flying ferrets and brainy bookworms... there's always a little bit of love buried there. One just has to have the willpower to dig.
1. Chapter 1

**PROLOGUE/INTERVIEW.

* * *

1. State your name, your reason for being here and a few interesting facts about yourself.

* * *

**

"My name is Draco Malfoy. My reason for being here today is... unknown, though given my boredom, it's not like I have anything better to do." He paused slightly, "scratch that. I have loads of things that I could do that are better than this, but... what can I say? I like being admired. I just don't know why we have to have Granger here for all of this."

"Please, Malfoy, they picked everyone out of seventh year randomly. This is _not_ on purpose." Hermione retorted, rolling her eyes and keeping her arms folded over her chest.

"I'm the one answering the question, Granger. Keep your Mudblood mouth shut for the time being." He snapped back. Hermione had been about to retort, but she shut her mouth and sat in silence. Draco continued. "Let's see... a few interesting facts. Well, I hate Mudbloods... namely Granger. I'm skilled in Occlumency, potions and non-verbal spells. My father _never_ beat me as a child, I'm very protective of my family, I _hate_... **_hate_** Mudbloods, I'm an excellent school bully **and**... I will _never_... **_ever_**, under any circumstances... fall in love with Mudblood Granger."

"Now why would you go and make a ridiculous theory like that?" Hermione snapped at him, shooting him a confused look.

"I saw the way you looked at me that day in third year." He replied all-knowingly.

"Yeah, before I broke your nose!" Her arms fell from her chest and her fists clenched, her face contorted in anger.

"It doesn't matter," he replied cooly. "You looked at me. With those... big Mudblood eyes. You acted angry, but I could read the signs. You wanted me." He adjusted his robes and flashed her a knowing smirk, then looked away and scratched his cheek. "Not necessarily a thing to be proud of, but I'm right and the Mudblood's wrong. That satisfies me."

Hermione, however, was fuming in anger. "Do you want me to break your nose again, Malfoy?"

"Now why would I want something like that?"

"Because you're asking for it!" She finalized as she lunged at him, tackling him off the chair.

"OW! GRANGER!"

* * *

"Alright, so since Mr. Malfoy has gone to the hospital wing, would you like to answer the question now?" The interviewer asked Hermione, who was brushing her frizzy and disheveled hair from her face in order to try composing herself. She gave the interviewer a sweet smile and folded her hands over each other on the edge of her knees.

"Okay. Uh... my Name's Hermione Granger. I'm here because... well... I... I don't know why I'm here. But I'm here." She cleared her throat and continued. "Uh... I love books. Love them. It's... actually kind of sad, how much I love them." She looked down to her hands, recomposing herself and beginning to speak again. "Well, my best friends are Harry Potter and Ronald Weasley... uh--"

"Hold on... your best friend is Harry Potter?" The interviewer asked. Hermione's eyebrows knitted together.

"Of course." She retorted, almost fuming in anger.

"Could you... get me his autograph?" She asked, her eyes bright with excitement. Hermione clenched her fists and rolled her eyes.

"Don't you think it a bit unprofessional to be asking someone you're interviewing for their best friend's autograph?" She asked, leaning forward slightly and giving the interviewer a scrutinizing glare. She heard her gulp and saw her shake her head.

"I--it's not professional. Not in the slightest. P--please, continue." She replied.

"Alright. My favorite song is 'Fascination' by Nat King Cole. And I will not hesitate in poisoning myself if Draco Malfoy ever mentions anything about being in love with me again." She visibly shuddered at the thought and made a grossed-out face.

"That's one thing we can agree on." Came Draco Malfoy's voice as he had sauntered back into the room, his nose back to normal, his shirt looking as though it never had blood spilling on it. "Even if Granger has the hots for me, I'm going to resist whatever move she puts on me. Even if it's as stupid as getting us stuck in an interview together."

"You think **_I_** did this, do you?!"

"I don't think, I _know_, Granger." He retorted, taking up his seat next to her. He scooted it away a few feet, wanting to keep out of her range in case she tried to attack him again.

"Alright, alright. So you two are Head boy and Girl of your year, that's why we chose you. We figured you two would be the most composed and responsible."

Hermione and Draco stared blankly at the interviewer, their mouths gaping.

"You _do_ know our history together, right?" Draco retorted.

"You know what this all points to? Those bloody stupid fanfictions." Hermione said to Draco, shaking her head.

"For once in my life, I think you're right, Granger. Bloody stupid fanfictions saying 'poor Draco, he was beaten as a child and sexually abused--blahblahblah--angstangstangst!'... so bloody stupid."

"I know! And _me_ dressed up in short skirts and high heels, trying to impress _you_, of all people! Ha! What a laugh that was."

"Oh, please, Granger. That's nothing compared to my supposed unbridled lust burning in my veins for you." He said before they both burst out laughing.

After a moment or two, they realized they were getting along and immediately stopped, staring at one another for a moment. Draco sneered at her and Hermione mocked his facial expression before they both faced the interviewer and crossed their arms over their chest at the same time.

"Continue." They both said in unison, not bothering to acknowledge that they had done all these actions in sync.

The interviewer pinched the bridge of her nose in frustration. "Merlin, this is going to be a long interview."


	2. Chapter 2

**CHAPTER ONE/ENJOY THE SILENCE.**

**

* * *

**_Vows are spoken to be broken.  
Feelings are intense, words are trivial.  
Pleasure remains, so does the pain.  
Words are meaningless and forgettable. _

**

* * *

**

Hermione tucked a few frizzy strands of hair behind her ear. Much to her dismay, it was only reaching lunchtime of the first day of being back at Hogwarts to finish off their seventh year and her bun was already falling apart. She knew she would have to eat quickly. There was to be a Heads meeting in Dumbledore's old office and she wasn't going to miss it. Nor was Ronald. The last time, they had been inexcusably late and she didn't want that branding her perfect record again.

She had to admit, though. The mood was a load or two lighter, now that the war was over and everybody was back to finish up their school year. Eventually, maybe not this year and maybe not the next, things would move forth. The school would, once again, be brimming with happy faces and the world would continue to turn on its cheerful axis knowing that everything was right again, knowing that good had triumphed over evil.

* * *

_Holly White strolled casually throughout the halls of Hogwarts. The smell of freshly cut grass filled her nostrils. A knowing smile curved upon her lips and excitement filled her being and she tucked her books beneath her arm, hoisting open the door to her classroom that she was going to teach in for the year. A small, knowing smile tugged at her lips and she glanced about the hallway, eventually cutting into where her own classroom should be. She stopped abruptly when she had noticed that Albus Dumbledore was standing at the window facing the courtyard, his hands folded behind his back._

_"Oh. Hello, Albus." Came her curt voice as she wandered a bit aimlessly into the empty classroom. She took in the familiar sight. She hadn't thought that she would wind up teaching here after being a student here. "Hope I'm not interrupting anything." She concluded rather lamely, hesitating a moment before placing her books upon her desk._

_"Not at all, Holly. I'm rather impressed with how quickly you were able to make it here. And on such short notice. I thank you for your dedication to your commitment to this school." He said, finally turning to her and offering her that familiar, kind and slightly mischievous twinkle in his eye. Holly couldn't help but smile and remove the aviator sunglasses that blocked her eyes from her former professor's vision._

_"With all due respect, Albus, this was more on part of my commitment to you as a friend. You know I never wanted to be a teacher here." She retorted playfully, receiving a small laugh from the Headmaster. "I hope you know... I'm not exactly... my methods aren't--"_

_"Precisely why I asked for you, Holly. You see... Charity was a wonderful teacher and very dedicated to her craft. She was a bright young witch, always made me laugh and she fascinated me with her facts about the Muggle world, amongst every other student that had the privilege of sitting before her in a classroom..." Holly seemed to hold up a hand to pause Albus from speaking further. When he had made a motion for her to continue, she had hesitated a moment, then gathered her thoughts well enough to speak._

_"Forgive me, but... you're talking like she died or something." Holly said, raising a brow in concern._

_"She did die. Charity Burbage was killed by Lord Voldemort." Immediately, Holly's hand raised to cover her mouth for a moment. The shock seemed to settle in. This was definitely the middle of a war._

_"So it's true, then. He's back." She said, nodding slowly and biting her lower lip. Dumbledore could say nothing else. He merely nodded curtly in confirmation. "Shit." When the Headmaster had opened his mouth to say something, Holly corrected herself by saying a quick apology for swearing._

_"You can teach these children, Holly. I would not have asked for you if I knew you couldn't."_

_"I'm a substitute, Albus, I can't teach worth shit--sorry--not like... not like Charity could. She had the ability to--to move these kids and--and what've I got?!" Slowly moving into a panic attack, Holly sniffed loudly in order to fight back tears of utter, pure fear. Albus placed two strong hands upon her shoulders._

_"I trust you, Holly. Charity started this and you have to finish it. My fear is that these students are slipping. My fear is that they will not find out how great this war really is and that they will not know how many lives will be touched by the outcome. I need you and your blunt, fierce willpower to drive them to the realization that this battle is not just with Voldemort, but with themselves. I need to know that you have enough faith in yourself to do this. And if you've no faith in yourself, have faith in my own for you." His words of encouragement touched her heart. Holly sucked in a slow breath, then released it._

_"Alright. Okay. For you, Headmaster." She said, nodding slowly. Dumbledore's eyes suddenly twinkled merrily and he drew her in for a hug. "I don't have to wear robes, though, right?" She asked, easing yet another laugh from him._

_What a mighty good man, Holly mused to herself with a bright smile on her face._

--

Holly awoke in a sweat. She'd had this dream various times and was not positive what it all meant. Albus was dead. She had only come back for Harry Potter's finishing of his seventh year and she was already having such weird dreams, a feeling that Albus was still here, still in the school... somewhere. Mayhap it was his spirit wandering the corridors somewhere.

The Muggle Studies teacher glanced back to the window, then to her watch. She cursed once she saw the time and hopped from the bed, scurrying about to gather her things and make it to her next class. She'd already missed two of them. After lunch, she was with the Slytherins and Gryffindors in seventh year.

* * *

The Heads meeting the day before did not take as long as Ronald complained about. Hermione actually enjoyed them. They brought the Heads of the houses together and helped them get along with one another. Well... as close to "getting along" as one Gryffindor could get with Slytherins and Ravenclaws.

Oddly enough, though, Hermione didn't find Malfoy's company all that troubling. He'd hardly made his snide comments and he'd hardly even looked at Hermione during the meeting. Almost as though he had been lost in his own thoughts of how the year was starting out for him. He wouldn't even turn to Pansy to talk to her about anything. She seemed adamant enough about ignoring him.

A pity, Hermione mused to herself. Draco seemed to lose his status the moment the war ended and his family turned to the good side at the last minute. His friends all shied away from him and he wasn't nearly as cruel as he was. It was almost like he was in a daze, constantly walking about with his tail between his knees, too afraid to even bother talking to his classmates.

Ron only seemed to enjoy his pain.

"What? After everything he's done to us, c'mon Hermione." He complained, stuffing his face effortlessly.

"For goodness sakes, Ronald, chew with your mouth closed. And Malfoy has changed. Can't you see it? The poor boy is petrified. He's lost everything and now he has nobody to turn to." She said. Harry continued to say nothing until Ron nudged him roughly with his elbow.

"You 'earin' this, Harry? She's barkin'." He said.

"I reckon your girlfriend might be right, mate. He did crossover to our side last minute. I've got nothin' against him." He said, shrugging. Ron's eyes went wide with disbelief.

"You're just as barkin'. Malfoy was a right foul git, mate. Just because he's got no friends don't mean I'm gonna show him an ounce of friendliness on my end." He snapped to the both of them.

"Well, at least do well enough not to call him a stupid ninny in the middle of our Heads meeting every time he wants to make a suggestion!" Hermione hissed back to Ron. "Gosh, at least he's trying to play nice. He never even bothered to retort when you hounded him, does that not make you as much a bully as he used to be?"

"Not at all," Ron retorted, "I never called you a Mudblood, did I?"

"Might as well have, with the way you embarassed me in front of everybody in that meeting." She gathered her things swiftly. "I'm going to class." She snapped before disappearing from the Great Hall.

"She's been actin' funnier and funnier lately." Ron stated before shoveling more food into his mouth.

"Well, she has a point, mate. The war is over, Malfoy means no harm, just let it go." Harry coaxed.

"Let it go? After all that git did to try to get us into trouble over the past seven years?"

"Ron, the past is the past. He helped us out when we didn't expect him to, it's not like Hermione's asking you to be best pals with him or anythin'. Just leave him to himself, mate. He seems to beat himself up enough as it is." Harry finalized while finishing up his food and gathering his stuff. "C'mon, mate. Let's get a move on. Muggle Studies and such."

"Oh, yeah. I wonder who's filling in for Burbage."


End file.
